To spank or not to spank?…that is the question.
Who doesn’t like the excitement and thrill of a little slap and tickle? Carry on reading for the Kinky Fetish Bondage guide to spanking…
Pain is not everyone’s idea of pleasure, however, some of those who enjoy it may want to bend over and give spanking a shot. Or perhaps your pleasure of choice is delivering pain to your partner through a swat or two.
Who’s been a very very naughty girl or boy then? Before you indulge in a saucy game of slap and tickle, you may want to read our 101 on spanking.
Some may turn their nose up and think that spanking a partner is slightly strange and almost a taboo subject. However since the release of the saucy E.L. James best-selling novel and Film “Fifty Shades of Grey.” there has been a significant rise in the number of men and women purchasing spanking tools or who just have an interest in spanking.
So much so that recent statistics show that around 22 percent of British women and 8 percent of British men fantasise about spanking while 16 percent of British women and 13 percent of British men fantasise about being spanked.
Why spanking? Why not. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it as my mother used to say. Not only does it feel pretty darn good to be bent over and spanked but unlike other sensual zones the bottom is fleshy and fatty and can withstand a large amount of pressure without it feeling intolerable and, in fact, it can feel highly pleasurable and arousing.
The derriere is, for most a very erotic zone and so a good spank can certainly get the sexual adrenaline going. The actual act of spanking screams dominance and submission to many and is seen to be a big turn on to many. The thought of being defenseless or of dominating someone is a sexy thought in itself.
Wanting to add a little something different to your love life? Or wanting to try some soft-core BDSM? Then spanking may just be your answer. a mixture of the correct approach and techniques are vital components to make spanking sexy.
Communication is extremely important if you want to indulge in spanking- whether your the spanker or spankee. Unexpectedly receiving a spanking can be very unappreciated and not much of a turn on if you’re really not feeling the whole spanking vibe. Before buying paddles and whips (or digging your old ones out) be sure to have a conversation with your partner to discuss both your and their feeling on the matter. Discuss how you might go about it and remember consent is essential. Discussing how you might like to spank or be spanked by your partner can be a big turn on and great foreplay.
Spanking can be both physically and emotionally painful. Many people like to play with pain, punishment and pleasure boundaries, but it is essential to set some rules beforehand. Those who enjoy BDSM live by that rule. Ensure you discuss limits. Let your partner know what you are and are not willing to do and ensure you listen to and respect their limits.
Spanking isn’t about looking to severely hurt someone, but as with most things the risk factor is always present. Having a safe word is of the upmost importance. This should be a word or phrase that you wouldn’t normally say during intercourse. Using a traffic light system can often work very well and is widely used by BDSM enthusiasts. “Green” meaning everything is fine to go on or carry on, “yellow” being slow down or just be aware you’re nearing your limits and “red” meaning to stop.
Like any sexual activity, its extremely important to set a mood before you let the spanking commence. If you or your partner arent aroused, then it’s highly unlikely that either of you will enjoy spanking and instead of being sexy and erotic will end up being painful and awkward.
It is highly advised to start slow and let the festivities slowly progress, naturally and freely. Starting with a little kissing and cuddling and slowly progressing to foreplay. Talking dirty and speaking about what you’re both wanting to do to each other or be done to you can really set the mood and be particularly arousing if someone is being particularly naughty and perhaps could do with being punished.
Role-playing can add to the thrill of the whole spanking experience, but it’s not necessary. Some feel that it’s easier to be a spankee or spanker when they take the time to become a made up character or person playing up to a role. Dressing up in a Sexy Maids Outfit or maybe a Naughty School Girls Outfit
All type of role playing involving dominance and submission are the perfect accompaniment to a night of spanking; examples could be master and slave, daddy and little girl or teacher and student role-playing. Only you know what turns you on so get imaginative.
There are many spanking positions to choose from the most common being the over knee position. The spankee is lay face down over the spanker’s lap. This position is simple, intimate and extremely sexy and is perfect for role playing as father and daughter or teacher and student.
Of course there are many other positions if the over the knee position just doesn’t quite cut it for you. Perhaps have the spankee lean over an item of furniture such as a bed or desk, kneel on the hands and knees or just lay face down for full impact. Or if you and your partner enjoy spanking a lot and want to become seasoned spankers there are specifically designed items of sex furniture for spanking.
Spanking needs to start softly and slowly. Don’t jump in by giving your partner a real walloping. Start slow, lightly and gently caress first. If your partner shows they are enjoying this, you can slowly work to gentle swats and then eventually becoming harder to a good full spanking.
Experimenting is key to perfect your spanking technique and to help find the ones that work best for you. Techniques can be changed every now and again by varying the shape of the hand, intensity and speed of your slaps. Cupping the hand while spanking will usually will deliver a deeper, duller thud rather than the stinging tingling sensation of a flat palm. Changing between swats and caresses or firmly grabbing the buttocks after each stroke is also an amazing way to mix things up. Don’t be afraid to try experimenting with following through with your hand instead of just letting your hand bounce off the buttocks, as each of these methods give totally different sensations. Above all else you should listen to how your partner reacts to your different actions. If you’re doing something that they totally love carry on pushing the boundaries.
Erotic spanking should be just that- erotic. So make sure you incorporate some sensualness into the spanking, especially as you suss out your partners pain limits. Mixing pleasure with pain can work very well, for instance, you could lightly stroke the anus or clitoris while delivering a spanking or lightly tickle, scratch, nibble or rub the buttocks in between spanks. With a lot of practice it may be possible to make someone orgasm from the very practice of spanking alone.
Pain can be pleasurable but if injury has been caused it means you’ve gone too far. only ever spank on fleshy areas such as the buttocks. Spanking on areas with little fat and that are boney can be exceptionally painful and may bruise. It’s important to never spank a partner just above the buttocks as this can lead to spinal or kidney traumas… and we wouldn’t want something that’s supposed to be pleasurable to become an embarrassing a&e nightmare.
It important that spankee shouldn’t be afraid to communicate in anyway during a spanking and should tell their partner when the spanking becomes too much. This is where having a safe word, or the traffic light system would come to hand. The spanker should always respect and play by the spankees boundaries and stop spanking immediately when the safe word is uttered.
The time after delivering a spanking is just as important if not more important than the spanking itself. This time should be used to relax and unwind and perhaps talk and discuss what you liked or didn’t about the spanking. If the session was particularly intense, it might be that a little cuddling is needed for reassurance for both parties. A warm bubble bath or cool, wet wash cloth on the buttocks can also be soothing and is a good way to bond after a spanking.
So, if you’ve taken all the above into account and are even more intrigued then perhaps its time to bend over and tell your partner you’ve been naughty and need a good spanking.
Check out my favourite spanking sex toys online